What you don’t see

I lay myself down to sleep and dream each night. Every dream I am not an amputee I am whole and able to do everything I put out to do. Then I wake up. I look down and see I’m not. I am no different than you I can do anything I want still I tell myself. I tell myself falsehoods in order to conquer the day. Everyone sees a strong man out there overcoming his disability and making life better. They say poor him he has no leg. They hold doors and help me at the grocery store. But I want to let everyone to know. What you see is not my biggest disability. It is what you don’t see that cripples me. The mental torment of waking up each day and putting on my prosthetic knowing I am no longer whole. The torture my body goes through swinging that thing all day long. The frustration of incapability of doing things I could do with both legs. So just because you see an amp getting through life as normal as possible please don’t think their life will ever be normal. I fight these battles each and every day and I win. How? I always have believed that their is good in everyone and I find it in me and I fight for life.