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John Holman

We Heal Like We Live

There was that day in my life; That day when I woke to find all I had went to sleep with was now gone. My lower right leg, my kidneys would no longer work, I no longer could talk or even lift my arms. My wife of three years and three very small kids were looking scared as I woke from a five-day coma. They carefully explained I had just died five days before. I had control of my thoughts, but only I could hear them since I could not speak. I wasn’t blind, deaf or mute since I could still understand but I had been locked inside a human tomb where my only choice was to watch people come and go, completely withouthope and fearing what I was already experiencing, ”a glimpse of my funeral while still alive.”

Those were the times that I learned to put one positive thought at a time in front of the other to keep myself going. See I could not explain myself anymore, I couldn’t lie or even beg. (I couldn’t even cry!) I could no longer plead my case. I could pray, sharing my thoughts with God and lie perplexed and frozen in time, not experiencing anything I was used to.

I learned how to really live in those times. I learned how to be powerful beyond self-set limits and to use better words again to lift my spirit and even encourage those that wanted to give up on me. There are those that did, trust me on that. My life is not for the weak. My life is about living in the strong and sometimes very uncomfortable present.

The present is my love, my life, my wife and kids. I also know how to be a provider of strength beyond what holds you back and help you prepare for what scares us all — loss. I want to ask you to please go out and live today don’t lie in a frozen fearful state, tell your story, live your passionate purposes to the fullest and most importantly love♡love deeper than anything.